Cat Tales

Hidden Dip

Here’s a little competition for you. Some will be easier than others, but try and find Dipstick in the following pictures.              ...

Fish on offer at Waitrose

It isn’t uncommon to find our cat appear from a hedge or shrub while walking back to the house, we even startled each other once in the road behind us while I was out for a run. On one occasion Sue and I were off to Waitrose on foot as it was a pleasant evening and we only had a few things to get for our evening meal. As we wandered down Abbey Avenue, it soon became clear (by the jingling behind), that Dips was curious to what we were up to. He would soon reach the edge of his territory and let us go. Or so we thought. We turned into Westfields and then into Rowlatt Drive, but he kept up his pursuit and regularly disappeared into one bush, only to appear the other side and carry on. It was thought, it would be best to pick him up and take him back, but he was not ready for that game and just eluded us at every attempt at capture. So we carried on. At the end of Rowlatt Drive , we used the footpaths through the estate to make our way to Waitrose, and still he followed. It must be a good half a mile in total and we were rapidly approaching our destination. The dilema now was, does he come in with us or hang around in distress in the busy car park. The decision was made for Sue to wait just away from the car park while I completed the food purchase. We then embarked on the journey home and sure enough he started to follow....

Building Inspector

When ever you take on a building project, there is always a slight apprehension that the builders will be a cause for concern. A door may appear where a window should be, a roof may twist in the middle due to plan misinterpretation or an industrial style toxic fire will burn for weeks, occasionally exploding violently due to a discarded can. What you need is someone or something to monitor all that is going on in your asbence and what better inspection can be carried out, than by a nosey...

Out witted

Another scrap, another visit to the cat doctor, another dose of medicine and another timely disappearing act from Sue to a netball tournament. The net results is man versus cat in the act of drug administration. It looks so simple in demonstration mode. cradle cat in arm with his back to you, wrap arm over his furry little legs, take pill, gently prise open mouth , pop pill in, close mouth. Cat leaves lap, licks lips and strolls off to cause mischief elsewhere. That is the Hanes cat operator handbook approach. The reality is that cats squirm like billy-o and have four swishing sithing limps and a mouth that only opens when it feels like it. Luckily, because of their dimness, they aren’t sure what you are up to, so get it right first time you are alright. Fail this attempt, you are on the losing side’s sub bench for eternity. Each attempt was getting more dis-heartening as the feline would un wittingly produce one victory after another. Trawling the internet, there were some very smug people who had successfully administered medication using cunning, brute force and even cheese. I had one plan, which was to hide behind the settee with the pill loaded into a straw, the beast would be kipping on the chair opposite and when he shuffles to another position, he would generally give out a yawn. At that point I would leap up and fire the pill through the make shift blow pipe into the open mouth. Of course this only happened in a brain storming dream, which I dismissed on engaging a sensible head....

Cat on a hot tin roof

It was a spectacularly hot day, the mercury was close to it’s hottest ever. Shorts and T-shirts were on, fans were whirring tiredly on their bearings and the doors and windows of the house were inviting in what little breeze there was in the world. Never able to resist an open door or window, Dips was in the front upstairs bedroom eyeing up this new escape route. Leaping onto the window sill, he tentatively made his way to the open window to survey all before him. His only option (apart from taking the stairs), was the small roof above the lounges’ bay window. It took a while, but this front paws started to slide down the wall until the inertia of his move took hold and he dropped onto the ledge below. To his shock the ‘lead’ roof had had the sun beating down on it for nearly 6 hours and was now at paw melting temperatures. He preceded to frog march around this small area occasionally standing on alternate legs like a sand lizard. A dilema lay ahead as the only way out was to hurl himself off the roof, 8 foot from the ground. Unfortunately, between the ledge and the ground is an less than inviting hawthorn bush. Strangely he hasn’t done it...